Pent Up by Damon Suede

Author:Damon Suede [Suede, Damon]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Tags: gay romance
ISBN: 9781627984645
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2015-11-19T23:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER ELEVEN

IF AT first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I shouldn’t have kissed him. I shouldn’t have left him alone to go swimming. I shouldn’t have ignored my gut from day one.

Ruben shook his head and looked at the floor, trying to figure out exactly how he’d let everything get away from him.

Andy paced in his bedroom, blotting his bloody face with a seven-hundred-dollar hand towel.

Ruben’s lips still stung from the stolen kiss. “I should go.”

When had he taken the first insane step? Letting his guard down with an employer? Not quitting in the limo when he’d first suspected his feelings? Taking the job against all his better instincts?

Rewind, rewind.

Keeping shit bottled up only gives your feelings a chance to ferment. The only thing that could have saved him from caring about Andy was never seeing him in the first place. If he had stayed in Florida? Stayed with his wife? Stayed a drunk? Regret was worthless.

“I shouldn’t have done that. That was shitty.”

“Done?” Andy opened his mouth to weigh in. “What?”

Ruben nodded to himself. Once he said the words, he could take the next step. Keeping a tight rein on his emotions had churned misery into disaster. “Kissed you.” Ruben swallowed. Saying it aloud felt panicky and good.

“You did.” He didn’t sound angry, at least. Then again, he’d left the lights off.

“Mmph. Everything happened so fast. I didn’t have a weapon and they were all over. But then you were okay and I kissed you without thinking.”

Andy bobbed his head and blinked sheepishly. “About that….”

“I just—I got spooked and then I saw you safe—”

He grinned. “S’not a big deal, man.”

“No. It is a big deal. It was a big deal.” Ruben didn’t let himself look away. “I shouldn’t be here at all. I should’ve left the night of the museum.”

“What museum?”

“When they attacked Hope.” Ruben shook his head at the hallway carpet, where he stood just outside Andy’s bedroom. “Even then I knew that I couldn’t get hold of myself. Acting like a drunk and too stubborn to stop. Addicted. ’Cause it felt good, y’see? Idiot.”

“Ruben, you’re wrong.”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

Andy frowned. “Why?”

“I’m gonna leave. You’re gonna hire someone who knows what the hell they’re doing and keeps their private lives private.”

“No.”

“That wasn’t a request. I’m telling you, man. I’m giving notice.”

“No. Ruben, I trust you. That’s what matters. Look, investment banking is a piranha tank. You decide who you think you can trust and you cross your fingers.” Andy held up his hand and did just that.

Ruben frowned. “I don’t understand. What is this?”

“S’complicated. Business.”

“Bullshit, Andy! You’re gonna tell me those goons were dissatisfied clients?”

“This kind of wealth is always a motive.” Andy waved an arm at the expensive wallpaper and the Kandinsky on the wall. “A lot of people would like me to drop dead for a lot of reasons.”

“And for that, two hedge-fund assholes tied you to a chair and beat you? Because of your apartment? I knew one of them. He mugged you that first day.

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